The Question is Who… are You?

24 02 2013

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I think I ought to know who I am.

Today you are You, that is truer than true.

There is no one alive who is You-er than You.

Dr Seuss

But is it the “You-er than You” that you see in me?

Is it the “you-er than You” who you see yourself?

To have a flavour.   To be distinct and recognisable.  To be an experience, an entity, an essence, that description can only portray, that can never truly be captured.  My flavour.  My me.  Is it not every one of us?  Is it not the mix of flavours that make our communities, our friendships and loves so potent, so fragrant, so memorable.

Must a flavour be labelled and packaged before it can be used?  Our society is very taken with the idea of discovering oneself, of escaping and travelling afar to find ourselves.  The truth is all too often we live in a bondage that comes from feeling restricted and powerless to progress, being stranded until we have fully discovered our identity, our essence, our “Me”.  But is life itself not merely the process of being found, of being slowly discovered; a process to be relished, to be savoured, to be engaged in everyday.  Can it ever really be finished?

To live is to be slowly born.   

Antoine de Saint Exupéry

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yet with what we have found, what we have discovered, we so often keep private, out of sight, hidden.  It is fear that stops us from disclosing ourselves.  How often do we shy away from being who we are, who we’ve discovered so far, to fit into the social confines, perceived expectations of those around us?  How often do we allow the fear of how others may think, react, respond, to constrict our visible selves, to keep us contained within our self-imposed limits of what we have perceived others to perceive as acceptable and normal?  And why do we fear?  Do we not know that they are waiting for someone else to go first?  Do we not know that our “You-er than you” is what will release and empower others to be their selves?  Do we not realise that we are all playing the same game, struggling against the same rules? 

Oh, you can’t help that.

We’re all mad here. 

You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself.

Cheshire Cat

There is a freedom that releases freedom.  It is the expression of self, of truth, that qualifies, that permits those around us to try; our expression of truth that calls them to try.  It is the shedding of closely held masks, and comfortable lies that allows us to be seen, to be known, to be loved; it is in the shedding that the path to being seen, known, loved becomes apparent, available.  In being ourselves, we open up another way, another option, another life.  It is, in fact, the truth that sets you free.  Again.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. 

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Paul: Galatians 5:1

Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions.

CS Lewis

We worry that we are different, that we are excluded on account of our differences, not realising that it is in fact our differences, our uniqueness, that is the common thread.  We were created, designed, shaped to fit and reflect aspects of our maker that no-one else will or could.  We aren’t the same as everyone else, as anyone else, for we weren’t designed to be, nor indeed were they.  Unique in the calling, gifting, contributing essence of our lives, we are matched to the individual road that lies ahead, the road that no-one else will travel.

When people talk, listen completely.  

I like to listen.  

I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.

Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway

The opportunity we have is to see the person in front of us, to be ourselves, both beautiful and flawed, thereby giving permission for them to be themselves.  To look into our friends, our family, our colleagues, and to be ever calling and drawing the essence and the gold that lies within; however well masked, hidden or buried.  Can we be that person who is subconsciously known as the one who doesn’t so much hear, as listens?  Can we be that one who releases freedom by walking in freedom, by walking in truth, by walking in integrity of self?

What will our towns, our neighbourhoods, look like as others see demonstrated a life lived free of fear, a life grounded in being true, being known, being loved.  A life that is unafraid of what it is you bring to the table; rather, excited to discover what you are bringing to the mix.

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

Jim Morrison

We are all in the process of discovering ourselves.  We all have much yet to learn, many areas to grow, many branches yet to be pruned.  Of course we aren’t finished with the refining, the distilling, the much-loved purifying.

But remember: God likes your flavour.  He made it.  He wants it.  He requires it.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;
You are Mine”

Isaiah 43:1

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Out of Kilter

9 10 2011

To sacrifice the greater good for the lesser, and then not to receive the lesser is surprising folly. Every preference of a small good to a great, or a partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made. You can’t get second things by putting them first, you can only get second things by putting first things first.

CS Lewis

Out of Kilter.  How many times do you find that Life has lost it’s balance?  That you are not where you intended or expected to be, nor where you had ever wanted to be.  How did you get here, without noticing, without conscious effort?

We find that the things we had a passion for, that we commit to running for, that we have invested ourselves in, and found joy and rest in, have become tiring and difficult.  It takes longer to achieve, requires more effort to sustain, provides diminishing returns for ever increasing expenditure.  Is it a wonder we feel tired and worn down?  Is it surprising that we struggle to continue down the path ahead, the road so often travelled?  We find there is no rest, but relentless straining to recreate a long lost momentum.  We find we are weary and heavy laden.

We find our needs are great, and they are many.  Where once our efforts seemed to refresh and satisfy, they drain and weaken.

We put our second things first.  And we are out of kilter.

Were we wrong to start?  Is our course less worthy than we thought?  Were we mistaken to pursue and give ourselves to competing, if legitimate, interests?  Should we pack in and give up?  Is the answer to cut our losses and try again?

Perhaps it is rather a question of Gravity and Light.

It is the immense gravitational pull and ferocious solar energy settled at the heart of our System that keep our planets in their place, that sustains their orbits, that produces and feeds all and any life.  Were that removed, what inconceivable effort would be required to maintain but a single celestial body in it’s orbital trajectory, with heat and light enough to sustain it’s environment.

Is that not but a reflection of our own experience?  We remove the immense gravitational pull and ferocious fire from the centre of our lives, and find that our orbiting occupations and interests, that our pursuits and causes, that our endeavours and outlets become the all consuming effort of our existence.  That inordinate attention is required to prevent catastrophic collisions.  That our being is no longer concerned with advancing, but with maintaining, no longer with nurturing growth but with limiting damage.  We find that we have crawled off the altar as a living sacrifice for the All Consuming Fire, onto the altar of our lives, consumed in a fire as a dying sacrifice.

It is only by placing that which has the intrinsic capacity to be the Centre, the Source, the Anchor, that our lives can come back into alignment.  It is only when we release ourselves, our nearest and dearest, our closely held treasures, our fondest dreams and ambitions from the crushing central foundation of our life, that all else can return to its rightful place, to its balanced and sustainable state.

It is only then that we come back into kilter.

You provide the fire, I’ll provide the sacrifice.
You provide the Spirit, and i will open up inside.
Fill me up God. Fill me up.
Love of God, overflow.
Permeate all my soul.
United Pursuit Band

We can be assured that in seeking the lesser Second things over the greater First, we will not fail to miss out on what we desire.  It is by giving priority to seeking First things first, that the Second things we so earnestly sought, come with everything else.

He who did not spare His own Son,
but delivered Him over for us all,
how will He not also with Him
freely give us all things?
Romans 8:32

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you.
Matt 6:33

Back in Kilter.  With Candlesticks and all.

I am glad to see you again, Jean. Why did you not take the candlesticks, too?  I told you, everything in this house was yours my brother.
Les Miserables





Hope when Life breaks

19 06 2008

Life could take,
take every dream away,
you’d still be my Risen One,
the place where my Hope comes from.

Life could break,
you’d still be saving grace,
my promise of all to come,
the place where my Help comes from

All my hope is in You,
my treasure and my truth,
my hope is in You.
TRENT BAND

Hope is a curious thing isn’t it?! It changes everything. One moment you’re in a situation that is ghastly, one that’s just hard and horrible, and takes all your effort to just stay put. But the next moment, with hope, you have a reason to keep going. The difficult becomes bearable. The stress isn’t stressful, it becomes more irritating than troublesome. So what’s the difference? Why is it that the same situation, at two different points in time, and sometimes very close points in time, can see me peacefully pushing on, or quaking and quick to give up?

Well, it’s perspective isn’t it. It’s what you’re looking at. It’s how you’re viewing things.

Take something ordinary, say a plant or a candle or something. It can look utterly mundane or really dramatic, huge or insignificant, just depending on the lighting and the angle – just depending on how you look at it, on your perspective. Isn’t life the same? Something can look huge, or utterly mundane, just depending on how you look at it.

So why do I fluctuate, so dramatically, so regularly? Is it that my perspective keeps shifting? Is it that my vantage point shifts? Is it that my focus drifts?

I suggest it is. I suggest that we’re not consistant, not steadfast. We have the occaisional epiphany during our hardest times, when we see things in their real perspective, from outside our selves…

And suddenly I see,why the hell it means so much to me…

And we remember, when we see things as they really are, what our hope is. We remember why we weren’t so afraid last time, why we had peace. We realise that no matter what happens, our hope hasn’t changed. The Hope we have for our whole life hasn’t changed, it hasn’t shifted. It cannot change. It cannot shift.

But we can. And we do. And we have. And we will do again.

But I propose that we don’t settle for this. I propose we set our eyes on Him. I propose that we don’t take them off Him. I propose that we keep each other looking at Him. Of course we will fall, of course we will miss the mark… but we know we will miss the mark, and we know we will fall, and that is our advantage. We will be ready. We will be waiting and watching. We will know and recognise that when we least want to look up, that is when we must, we absolutely must, and it will change everything. We will be prepared to wrench our eyes off our problems and look back up to our Hope, to our God, our Redeemer, the One who holds us and everything always in His hands.

So turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the Light of His Glory and Grace.

So I will put my hope in Him. I will put my hope back in Him when I drift. I will trust Him when I have stopped trusting Him. I know I will, because His Life blood is in me, His Spirit well up within me, He will bring me back, He will stir in me again, he will call me back. He lives my Life and and He yearns to more and more everyday. He is faithful, He is true, He is loving, He is just, He is powerful, He is Awesome. You know He is. Just Trust Him.





Of gouging, reclaiming, and truely living…

8 03 2007

To gouge or not to gouge?


So if your eye – even your good eye – causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matt 5:29

Gouge it out? Sounds like an ophthalmolic emergency eh? The verse we fear to use for being labelled a fundamentalist or radical crazy christian. But He was right wasn’t he. There’s stuff we have, stuff we do, stuff we talk about, stuff we live, stuff we look at, people we hang out with, places we go, that are pulling us away from Him. That stop us being who we are. Children of God, with life in all its fullness.

Holiness. Following the rule book of God? Fun destroying lifestyle of legalistic living? No, No, No, No, No. Really, No. We’ve just missed the point. Rather, living life in a way that allows the nearer presence of Christ’s Holy Spirit inside us. Doing and not doing stuff that allows Him to be closer to us, that allows our spirit to be intertwined with His more closely than we thought possible.

You know this. It’s the stuff that seems fun, but leaves you feeling hollow but craving more to relieve the hollowness, the dis-satisfaction. It’s the stuff that looks too boring, but leaves you with an indescribable joy and fullness and satisfaction, and wanting still more.

Is it worth getting it right? Can we be bothered? Does it matter?

Joy indescribable? Life in ALL its fullness? Life as it was designed to be? Life that leaves you feeling alive and complete? Life that gives you an inexplicable sparkle and glow?

You decide. We decide ourselves.

Do you want to be a christian guy or a godly man? A christian girl or a godly woman? I tender that they are not the same thing. I tender we were designed for one and not the other. I tender the power is there… his grace is sufficient, seek and you will find, seek first his kingdom and it will be added to you, ask and it will be given to you, the incomparably great power for us who believe, the riches of the glorious inheritance in the saints… His spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, abiding in us, pulsing in our veins. It is possible – it is what He longs for us. It is what we are designed for.

“You will be my people, I will be your God.”

Chirst the wisdom of God and the power of God. For the foolishness of god is wiser than mans wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.

To gouge or not to gouge?

“There is nothing worth missing our abundant life in Christ for. And there’s too much we don’t know to waste time neglecting what we do know. Start being the person you want to be, and making the choices you’ve always wished you could make. You know what you should be doing. do it.”





Worshiping Becomes You…

18 11 2006

“You are what you eat Robbie pupil… Mmmm Nuts!”

True my reindeer friend, but you are what you worship. Rather you become what you worship. Could be God, could be sex, could be power, could be the devil of hell and his lies – but don’t be fooled, you do worship something, or someone – it’s part of who we are, it is one of our deepest needs. What consumes us, what drives us and causes us to sacrifice all else for, that is what we are becoming. Be careful, it is a terrifying truth – watch you heart closely and choose carefully.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it better than I can:

“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”